If you talk to enough people, you find out your fear of overwriting about the pain of losing a parent is as ubiquitous as sweat while running up the stairs to find your ringing cell phone.
A little goes a long, long way.
I lost a few hours of life and gained mounting anxiety by the endless buzz saw of a tree next door facing its final hours. It’s none of my business but I did not expect to say good bye to an old friend. Why did you leave me this way? Big Trees Make Better Neighbors.
Take the cannoli. The Trees Stay in the Picture.
I’m not the Boss of the Cul-de-Sac but… wouldn’t it be nice?
As Tevye would shout: “TREE-dition!”
There goes the neighborhood. 👿
I can’t bear to look. Oops, I did it again. Baring my soul. Barking up the wrong tree. Digging myself into a hole of bad puns. Logging out. Oy.
Do not tell me what you feel. I want to feel what you feel. First lesson learned in every writing workshop.
I like to have the last word in an argument. I cannot be the only one to confess to this personality trait. We may differ in opinions. The measure of success is how persuasive one can be without sliding into vitriol or emotionally violent tactics.
This is why political arguments will never end well. There may be two sides in the room but facts are not talking points. You may feel something I don’t feel. Fair game. When we are challenged to defend the truth by a dark soul consumed by angry lies, it’s time to be the better person and turn away.
Words are precious. I choose to use them as a gift. I do not have time to waste sharing them with the heart of darkness. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
“Words are finite organs of the infinite mind.” Thanks, Ralph Waldo Emerson. You nailed it.
I believe most writers envy artists. As painful as it is to concede to this truth, a picture tells a thousand words. If I could paint, I’d put my brush down now and just let the beauty of nature show you what I feel.
I will go down with -this- ship. Words are forever in flight.
Let the ink flow like waves in the ocean. The pen is mightier than the sword!
And you wonder why red is the greatest color created since the day crayons were invented?
“You come rolling across my mind
Your hair flashing in the blue…”
Now playing in my head.
(Chasing Wild Horses, Springsteen)
I wish I could play this song for my dad. Lasso him out of my dreams and memories, settle him into the mustard yellow arm chair in the lonely den where I can still smell his old shirts and loose pajama bottoms, and tell him he needs to listen.
This is my story, I’d say. The one where the girl gets the horse.
He knew I longed to have a horse of my own.
That was a childhood dream that will likely never come true.
I lied about riding horses in preschool.
All these years later, it still startles me he believed me.
My parents always believed in me.
Without them here on earth, sometimes it’s hard to believe in myself.
I’m less shy than I once was. I have my own imaginary wild, restless horses to tame, day after day.
I think I’m doing a good job.
It’s not easy to let go.
The struggle eases in this song.
I did not write it
but every word is mine.
Not off into the sunset.
There are many moons ahead, many wishes to wish and dreams to dream
And I will wrangle wild wishes
Until they turn into truth.
“But anyway, my father’d always say, ‘you know, you should be a lawyer. You know, you get… get a little something for yourself.’ You know? And my mother, you know, she used to say, ‘no, no, no. No, he should be – he should be an author. He should write books. You know, you should… That’s a good life, you can get a little something for yourself.’
Well, what they didn’t understand was… was that I wanted everything.
And so, you guys, one of you wanted a lawyer, and the other one wanted an author. Well, tonight, you are both just going to have to settle for rock ‘n roll…”
-Bruce Springsteen, July 7, 1978
In awe of the introverted (raising hand) who share their inner lives here, exposing private thoughts to an unknown, unseen public.
Do you ever read your posts as if they were not written by you and wonder 1: what readers think and 2: wonder what the writer was thinking writing these words out loud? When did writers become exhibitionists? Public speaking frightens me. Public writing does not.
You write into the void. You are unsure if you are talking to yourself. You wonder if people care. You wonder why you are compelled to write to perhaps an empty audience.
The you is me.
If anyone is wondering, I read you and I care.
Keep writing. The words seep in. They are life savers.